A personal reflection on healing, forgiveness, and finding peace within
Have you ever felt like you’re carrying invisible weight? That’s exactly how I felt today after our class discussion about Umm Jamil. As I sat there listening to her story, something clicked—I realized I’ve been carrying around anger, jealousy, and resentment like they’re precious possessions. But they’re not. They’re poison.
The Wake-Up Call
Umm Jamil spent her entire life spreading hate and negativity. And what did she gain from it? Nothing but pain and a legacy that no one would want to inherit. Her story hit me like a mirror—am I becoming someone who chooses bitterness over peace?
I call myself a Muslim. I say I believe in Allah. But here I am, holding onto grudges and comparisons that only darken my heart. There’s a disconnect between what I claim to believe and how I’m actually living.
The Prophet’s Wisdom
The Prophet ﷺ taught us something profound: “There’s a piece of flesh in the body—if it’s good, the whole body is good. If it’s bad, the whole body is bad. That piece is the heart.” (Bukhari & Muslim)
This hadith stopped me in my tracks. If I don’t heal what’s inside, how can I expect to find peace outside? My heart is the control center of my entire being—and I’ve been letting it run on negative energy.
My Heart-Healing Toolkit
I’m done carrying this fire in my chest. Here’s what I’m committing to:
Daily Duas for Purification
Every day, I ask Allah: “Ya Allah, clean my heart. Take away the anger, the jealousy, and the negativity. Fill me with love, patience, and peace.” Even when forgiveness feels impossible.Forgiveness as Self-Care
I’m learning to forgive—not because people deserve it, but because I deserve peace. Holding grudges only keeps me trapped in someone else’s chapter.Giving the Benefit of the Doubt
Before I jump to conclusions, I pause and think: Maybe they’re struggling. Maybe it wasn’t personal. Maybe there’s more to the story.Breaking the Comparison Trap
What’s written for me will never miss me. I don’t need to be jealous of anyone’s journey—Allah has given me my own unique path and blessings.Journaling Through the Fire
When anger or jealousy creeps in, I write it down. Sometimes seeing these feelings on paper helps me realize how small they really are compared to the bigger picture.The Choice is Mine
Letting go isn’t easy—it’s probably one of the hardest things we can do as humans. But holding on is worse. It’s choosing to live in a prison of our own making.
I don’t want to be like Umm Jamil, carrying hate until it consumes everything good in my life. I want to be someone who heals, who grows, who chooses peace even when it’s difficult.
The journey of cleansing the heart is ongoing, and I know I’ll stumble along the way. But today, I’m making a choice: I choose healing over hurting, peace over poison, and trust in Allah’s plan over my own limited understanding.
Because at the end of the day, a clean heart isn’t just better for me—it’s better for everyone around me.
What’s one thing you’re ready to let go of today?
May Allah grant us all hearts that are pure, peaceful, and full of His light. Ameen.
